[#50 Lesson] Don’t Show All Your Cards When Bargaining

This life lesson relates to my previous blog post #50 Take a Punch by a UFC Fighter.

Looking back on how I accomplished this goal, it is clear that easing into it was the best way to approach it. I wanted TJ to do something out of the ordinary for me and sending an email from someone he had never met, requesting to be punched in the face would have most likely gone unanswered. The initial email was used to get my foot in the door and helped to arrange a time and date for the real conversation to take place.

During the days leading up to 23rd July I found myself trying to figure out how to actually bring up the topic. Although I had the meeting arranged, I was still not going to be able to arrive at the gym and ask him to punch me. The conversation that we had at first was good to break the ice and have a relaxed chat to each other. At least I wasn’t just some stranger anymore; I was a fan and was coming to his gym to meet him.

Inserting my intentions into the conversation at the correct time was important but I decided it was best to let my bucket list speak for itself, which is why I brought a hard copy with me. After telling him that I had a bucket list and giving him the number that I was trying to achieve, I allowed his eyes to find it on the page and bring it to life. This was the best way I could think of to ease into it and although he was hesitant at first, it worked out in the end.

His hesitation allowed me to query why it was not going to be possible and whether there was something we could do to mitigate the reasons. I had eased into the conversations beginning with the initial email, but at this moment we were bargaining. The more we spoke, the more TJ and his Scott got on board with the idea until it was all done and we were all happy with the result.


Accomplishing life goals is not easy and you will certainly face some adversity. If being told that something can’t be done is enough to stop you, then you may never accomplish your goals. When someone tells you that something can’t be done, ask why. The answer to your question will tell you the next problem that you have to solve.

This situation taught me the importance of always keeping some cards in your hand when bargaining, especially when you are asking someone else to do something for you. Take some time to meet them on a personal level and get them on your side before addressing your intentions. If they have reservations about what you are asking from them, query it and use that as your new starting point.

I have used this approach on many occasions and it usually ends with the desired result. Knowing when or when not to use this approach is something that is learned over time. Add this to your set of bargaining skills and see if it works for you in the future.

Do you have any other bargaining tips to add? Let me know in the comments below.

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